Understanding Engineers – Take One
- Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, ‘Where did you get such a great bike?’
- The second engineer replied, ‘Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,’Take what you want.’
- The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, ‘Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.’
Understanding Engineers – Take Two
- To the optimist, the glass is half full.
- To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
- To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers – Take Three
- What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
- Mechanical engineers build weapons, and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers – Take Four
- The graduate with a science degree asks, ‘Why does it work?’
- The graduate with an engineering degree asks, ‘How does it work?’
- The graduate with an accounting degree asks, ‘How much will it cost?’
- The graduate with an art degree asks, ‘Do you want fries with that?’
Understanding Engineers – Take Five
- Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
- One said, ‘It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.’
- Another said, ‘No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.’
- The last one said, ‘No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?’
Understanding Engineers – Take Six
- Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
- Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers – Take Seven
- An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, ‘If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.’
- He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
- The frog spoke up again and said, ‘If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.’
- The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
- The frog then cried out, ‘If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.’
- Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
- Finally, the frog asked, ‘What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?’
- The engineer said, ‘Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool !’
