An American in England’s Creed

My Umbrella

This is my umbrella. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My umbrella is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My umbrella, without me, is useless. Without my umbrella, I am useless. I must hold my umbrella true. I must hold straighter than any raindrop who is trying to wet me. I must deflect him before he soaks me. I will….

My umbrella is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weakness, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its handle and its folds. I will keep my umbrella clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…

Before the Gods I swear this creed. My umbrella and myself are the defenders of my dryness. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my comfort. So be it, until victory is mine and there is no rain, but Sunny Days.

Apologies to the US Marines : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rifleman%27s_Creed